


In the Event That Seelie Wine Gives You An Erection Lasting More than 24 Hours Please Call Magnus Bane

by Aria_Lerendeair



Series: Magnus Bane Birthday Bash 2019 [22]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is confused but supportive, Crack Fic, Just some chafing, M/M, Seelie Drugged Wine, everyone is okay though, potion making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: Alec enjoys watching Magnus make potions.Magnus hates this particular potion, for a very particular reason.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Magnus Bane Birthday Bash 2019 [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666054
Comments: 12
Kudos: 319
Collections: Shadowhunters Fic-A-Thon 2020





	In the Event That Seelie Wine Gives You An Erection Lasting More than 24 Hours Please Call Magnus Bane

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by Miss-Shiva-Adler: MB3 : Potion making and competence kink !
> 
> This got REALLY crack-ficcy really quick, but god I love it so much.

Potion making was an art form, and anyone who said otherwise was trying to sell an inferior potion that likely wouldn’t work. 

  
Magnus frowned and squinted at his cauldron, picking up the ground phoenix feather, squeezing a fraction between his fingers. "A sprinkle,“ he muttered to himself. "What is a sprinkle supposed to mean. Honestly. Systems of measurement designed by warlocks that wanted to do nothing more than make things blow up on their successors, I swear to god-”

  
“Magnus?” Alec asked, pausing in the doorway of Magnus’ apothecary. "Are you all right?“ 

  
“Fine, just fine!” Magnus muttered, looking at the red dust on his fingertips. He held them out over the cauldron. "A sprinkle,“ he muttered again, rubbing his fingers together, adding a fine film of dust to the potion, watching it carefully. 

  
It bubbled ominously, but settled into the clear blue color that signified a complete potion, and a successful one at that and Magnus sagged in relief, magicking the rest of the dust off of his fingers and back into a vial. He glared at the potion book next to the cauldron. "You lazy asshole,” he added. "That was a pinch, not a sprinkle.“ 

  
"Is there a difference?” Alec asked, still staring at Magnus. 

  
Magnus looked up at him and grinned, a little wide and perhaps a tad manic, since he had been up for the past twenty six hours adding ingredients to this potion. "A large one, Alexander.“ He carefully dipped several vials into the potion and stoppered them, letting them hover in the air in front of him. 

  
"I swear, Oberon, if you ask me to make this again,” Magnus added, putting his hands on his hips. "You just don’t want to make it because it blows up on you more than it does me.“ 

  
Alec blinked. "Is, is someone there with you?”

  
Magnus shook himself and turned his attention to Alexander and forced a smile to his lips. "No, of course not. I may be slightly overtired. I don’t remember when I last ate, either.“ He blinked again and swayed back into the chair behind his desk. 

  
Alec rolled his eyes and stepped closer to the door. "May I come in?” 

  
Magnus lazily waved him in and then in another wave, banished the five vials to Oberon’s apothecary. Another quick twitch of his fingers and he had a fire message to go along with them, demanding at least a fifty percent increase in price compared to the last time he had done this. Oberon had promised. He had. 

  
“What were you making?” Alec asked, glancing at the potion before walking around Magnus’ desk. 

  
“A cure,” Magnus said with a huff, letting his eyes fall shut. "To a Seelie drug.“ 

  
Alec’s eyes widened. "You, is anyone hurt? Are they okay?” 

  
Magnus huffed out a laugh and opened his eyes. "Everyone is perfectly fine, Alexander, I assure you. Granted, Oberon may be dealing with some chaffing, but he’s hardly a stranger to that.“ 

  
Alec took a second to digest that and glanced back at the potion again. "Why did you have to make so much of it?” 

  
“Because the idiot drank a bottle,” Magnus growled, letting his eyes fall shut. "I should have charged him double.“ 

  
Alec huffed out a laugh and offered his hand to Magnus, pulling him up and out of his chair and towards the bedroom. "So this Seelie drug that you made an antidote for…?”

  
“Calling it a drug,” Magnus said with a yawn. "Makes it sound much worse than it is. It would have worn off eventually. In another week or so with how much he took. But it’s an uncomfortable problem to deal with for a week.“ He grinned and offered Alec a tired wink. "That’s why he was willing to call me and ask me to make the cure.” 

  
“And why couldn’t he make the cure himself?” Alec asked, sitting Magnus on the edge of the bed, helping to take his jacket off, then his socks and shoes. 

  
Magnus yawned, his eyes starting to drift shut. "Because, as powerful as Oberon is, and he’s old as fuck, so he is, he’s never had the touch for potions. Wards though? His warding is a work of art,“ he said, smiling at Alec. "He’s the one I took over doing the wards for at the Institute.” 

  
“I see,” Alec said, though he had no idea what Magnus was talking about. Well, he knew about the wards part, but that was it. "So what is this problem that the drug causes, hm?“ 

  
Magnus burst into tired snickers as Alec got his shirt pulled over his head and he waved his hand, sending his pants flying across the room. "He had an erection lasting more than twenty-four hours, so he had to call his doctor.” 

  
Alec blinked once, twice and stared down at Magnus, who was still snickering to himself. "Are you…serious…?“ he asked. 

  
"Oh yes. I’ve had to deal with it myself,” Magnus said with a wave. "It’s fun for the first twenty four hours, but then the chaffing becomes a problem and it’s just not as pleasurable for anyone involved.“ 

  
Alec opened his mouth to respond and then snapped it shut, shaking his head. "I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” 

  
Magnus opened one bleary golden eye. "You’ll be joining me?“

  
Alec kicked off his shoes and jeans, stripping down to his t-shirt and boxers. "If you agree to get into bed right now, then yes, yes I will.” 

  
“Great!” Magnus said with a flurry of limbs, flopping back onto the bed with a grin. He waggled his eyebrows at Alexander. 

  
Alec snorted and got Magnus situated under the blankets and watched his face immediately start to go slack as he curled up under the sheets. "Yeah, you need sleep. I don’t know if I believe anything that you just told me.“ 

  
Magnus felt a faint pinging at his wards and waved a hand with a grunt, watching a large bag fall into the middle of the bed. He blinked at it and at the note attached. "See what that is, will you?” 

  
Alec picked up the burlap sack and blinked at the clinking sound and he looked into it. “It’s heavy.” 

  
“Oh goody,” Magnus mumbled into the pillows. “Make sure it sparkles too, would you?” 

  
Untying the knot at the top, Alec opened the small bag just enough to look in and nearly choked at the sight of gold ingots. “Uh, at first glance, at least fifty gold ingots, actually?” 

  
Magnus blinked and sat up, staring at the bag in Alec’s hands. “What?” 

  
Alec picked up one of the gold coins and held it out to Magnus. “These?” 

  
Magnus took the gold coin and immediate bit into it, ignoring the protest from Alec before he grinned, bright and wide and flopped back into bed. “I take back what I said, Oberon is my favorite behind you, Alexander.” 

  
Alec put the bag on the bedside table and crawled into bed with Magnus. “I’ve learned not to ask questions, so I’ll just hold you until you fall asleep, how about that?” 

  
Magnus immediately smushed his face into Alec’s chest with a pleased noise.

  
Alec snorted and combed his fingers through Magnus’ hair until he relaxed completely and closed his own eyes. He couldn’t quite get the image of Magnus standing in his apothecary over a bubbling potion out of his mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
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> 
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> 
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